my heart twists in tangles in the wood

Yesterday i realized that well, yesterday I would’ve been in Tanglewood. I was surprised that I found myself thinking that when I was so immersed in shopping in wasteland, looking through blouses by marc jacob, walton whoever else, and thats all I could think about. Today I woke up and thought about it even more, my heart hurts, i feel tears in my eyes and I just want to cry, I want to talk endlessly about how I would have loved to be in tanglewood. I would have talked about how TODAY I’d either be auditioning for a spot in at the very least the wind ensemble (and at the most the orchestra) and I’d feel proud, I’d leave my pride and only share the prettiest notes because its tanglewood and its precious, not something to fret over once you’re in. I think about if maybe they did auditions yesterday by now I’d either be in lunch or in a rehearsal giving a peculiar look at the awkward rhythms I’m learning. My heart twists, it shatters, I am speechless. I want to go, I want to be in boston right now, it hurts, it hurts, I’ll be there next year, just practice practice practice, don’t stop.