the caged bird

I feel like I’m staring out of a cage looking at others. You never let me out, I’m never free to fully express myself. I’m so restrained in this space you give me. I want you to unlock the cage and let me fly free, I feel exasperated.’

wouldn’t it be better if you just opened the cage? I would be free, I would be happy, I wouldn’t have to rebel, to work so hard.

my mum demands that I quit the mozart festival.

listening

So I’m listening to Ravel’s Bolero and it sounds different to me…

different parts are beginning to be heard, and I’m just so surprised! I used to not really like Bolero…but now I do.

my competition is this week, I want to throw all my homework in practice

if i had an A in every class I would do that, what an easy week it would have been…

i’m really stupid i’m worrying over socializing with him more so than my competition, some musician I am hm?

note to self

over winterbreak seriously start contemplating college and organizing everything, make trees to see what schools are connected to what.

Organize by most desirable to least

organize by state
organize by country

and TRY TO GET IN CONTACT WITH THE FACULTY.

note to self go to east coast in the spring, note to self figure out how to determine information about european schools

note to self it would be easier if you ask stuart about european schools, or austin.

note to self start apush so you could think about this

notes notes notes

beethoven sonata no. 21 “waldestein”

[embed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJ5QKjmkinU&feature=related[/embed]
is really sweet and cute, I really love the piece. It makes you feel dizzy, and yet there is this sudden power that makes you so attentive and captivated. It has some melancholy in it but it comes back to that sweet, determined cute theme. Its like someone’s heart pounding

its so stupid I was listening to this song a couple days ago and I couldn’t think of a song for him to play yesterday, yeah ravel’s my favorite piano composer but why didn’t i say beethoven? number 21?

But when he plays, i can remember sitting there and listening it was quiet and then he played, there isn’t anything that could compare to the feeling. its like whenever margaret plays a marimba piece, you can’t think of anything else to do but listen and look at the person, you just look at them and..you just hold your breath, because they just really captivate you.

before mathematics, We will transcend

I have a math test tomorrow, I need to do well I WILL do well. I need this I need this, I got this.

So I had a study group today, first off Hillary Kitty ( =) ) and I walked over to market world to buy cake mix…

but ended up running like crazy back to my house because Victoria came earlier than we expected. Quite an adventure…thirty seconds after we started running i was like “OH MY FREAKING GOD HILLARY I HAVE A CRAMP IN MY LEG!!!!!!!!!!! LETS JUST WALK” weak sauce i KNOW. So Victoria tutored Hillary in AP chem while I’ll did english homework, among other things. Then Minji Binji came, she felt sorta sick so I made her my amazing english breakfast tea that she loves :]. I even got hillary hooked on it. Hm, then victoria tutored me, victoria is so scary when she tutors! She yelled at me…I love her nonetheless, I finally understand this chapter, many thanks to them three!

Then Victoria left ;[ so HIllary, Binji and I did homework for awhile and yapped on about stuff. We made Amy's birthday cupcakes, it was very fun...

I did most of the baking though, :] they gotta learn how to bake those girls, they want boyfriends and they don’t bake how silly <3

I love 'em alot.

I tried to make nutella frosting, I’m gonna attempt to tomorrow, if I have time, I don’t have any homework tomorrow though except english, so I probably can make it.

i love transcendentalism and every aspect of it, not as an religion just an idea and way of life (talk about contradiction…). Its fascinating and when I think about it it really reflects a musician, their ways and believes. the idea of having things flow naturally, just likea musician should let music flow naturally, its just amazing.

my competition is next week i don’t want to stress over it, and i’m gonna have to face him soon, I don’t want to..I’m not sure why, i’m always so close and my heart beats and I don’t like the feeling I swear I’m not in love I’m not…its gonna be pain and futileness.